Last night it finally hit me
I’m never going to hear from your again.
I know it’s my fault
Because I pushed you away
And told you to stay there.
I know I’m the toxic one.
I know I finally went too far.
I know a person can only be expected
To try to help so much.
You are my favorite person
I have ever had the pleasure to know.
I don’t regret telling you
To stop caring about me
And my well-being
And my problems
And my fears.
I know I cut you out
To protect you from my weakness.
To protect you from my dreams.
I don’t regret giving you back your time
So you could stop wasting it on me.
Except last night
And in the silence my mind
Sometimes settles into.
When I see that I was right.
That you are happier
And healthier
With better people around you.
That I didn’t deserve to hope
And not that hope is truly dead.
It’s barely been a year
But I have only myself to blame
For eternity.
The Proud Dandelion 